Planning a wedding can be very stressful. It is easy to be lovey-dovey on date night but how do couples fair when they have to make a gazillion small decisions together? A very big part of marriage but very new in the wedding planning stages. Combine this with money talk and learning things you never knew about the other person can add an unsurmountable pressure on you both.
There are a few ways you can keep the peace and make sure there is some time for you to spend with each other. Quality no-wedding-talk-type of time together.
1. Be conscious of the stresses
You both are taking a very big step and this is bound to elevate stress levels. Be conscious of always being more kind to each other.
2. Agree finances
“Money problems” arise very easily. Be honest with each other on respective financial situations, what the wedding budget is and stick to this as you wouldn’t want to start a life in debt if you plan beyond your means. Plan your budget easily with Bride Control Budgeter
3. Pick your battles
There could be 101 things to fight about over preference and tastes. Remember to compromise and work with each other to make the wedding reflect the both of you!
4. Share responsibilities
Brides often take on too much and as a result become bridezilla! Grooms of today are very thoughtful and would like to be involved. Draw up a set of responsibilities and share this with each other. You can also ask the bridal party for assistance. You are not alone. For more, read Bridal Party: Who & What
5. Lean on each other for support
When there is an overwhelming moment during the planning process, look to your significant other and forget the world for a second. You both are in the same team.
6. Put each other first
There may be some compromising situations especially around family along this process. Ensure you are staying true to what your partner and you agree on and not to bring external influences into the process.
7. Don’t become complacent
It is so easy to get absorbed by getting married and making your significant other a tick box item. Don’t take each other for granted and make time for quality no-wedding talk dates.
8. Don’t assume
Assuming aspects of the wedding can cause many unnecessary fights! Communicate, communicate, and communicate! Your partner may have an idea of what they like and change their minds or you may misinterpret something, be mindful of checking in and talking the important aspects out.
9. Agree on a planning tactic
So there is actually a bit of science to this. Determining this from the onset will contribute to the most seamless wedding process possible:
There are 5 models or tactics:
The bride takes on most of the planning and decision-making, while the groom is happy (or not) assuming a secondary role. Couples who marry with the wedding paid for by the bride’s parents most often utilise this model.
Either the bride or the groom agrees to take on the majority of the planning and decision-making for specific reasons often related to one or another person’s other commitments—work, ailing parent, etc. The person taking on fewer responsibilities may be assigned specific tasks based on particular interest or expertise.
The bride and the groom share equally in the planning and decision-making. Each has their own “to do” list and they share decision-making. A bargaining discussion results in the assignment of specific tasks, and these are usually based on each individual’s interests and expertise. (If your groom-to-be’s mom is a florist, for instance, guess who’ll do the flower arrangements?)
If both the bride and groom are exceptionally busy (jobs, children, parents, volunteer work, illness etc.), a wedding coordinator is hired to handle the majority of wedding planning tasks; he or she will organize the wedding based on detailed discussions with the couple. These are experts, remember, and most couples agree to the counsel offered (or not).
Similar to the asymmetrical model, in the corporate model one person does most of the research but both bride and groom share equally the decision-making. One person gathers information, opinions, photos, ideas, and presents these for discussion and shared decision-making in regularly scheduled.
10. Keep courting
The most important left to last, keep dating each other! Keep the romance alive and be present in the moment. For some date night ideas, read Top 15 Date Night Picks in Johannesburg
Image: DearHeart Photography